


Someday Soon

by Femalefonzie



Series: The Family That Slays Together [5]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Lost Boys (1987)
Genre: Andrew has a crush on Spike, David & Connor are little shits, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Everyone in this fic is a giant dork, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Hyperion Hotel - Freeform, Lots of nerd references, M/M, Mpreg, Sam has a crush on David, Spike's Poetry, Vampire hunting, actual Snow White!Marko, awkward needs with semi-creepy crushes, mainly star wars, post abomination, post season five, sex pistols & babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 10:55:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6151314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Femalefonzie/pseuds/Femalefonzie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Tell You Later</p>
<p>Angel Investigations, The Lost Boys and the visiting scoobies come together to try and solve their greatest mystery yet; who's pregnant test did Angel find?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someday Soon

**Author's Note:**

> So, I may not have time go update Abomination as much as I like, so I've taken to posting little drabbles and shorter stories that happen afterwards. Abomination will be finished eventually, but until then, I'm making it so there won't be too many big spoilers in here. Enjoy. Timeline at the End.

"Bring everyone in!" Angel's voice erupted over the intercom. "I need everyone in here immediately! This is an emergency!"

Harmony sighed, and took another sip of the juice box she'd swiped from the kitchen fridge. When wasn't it an emergency around here? "Okay boss. I'll call up Fred or Illyria or whoever leading today, and Gunn and-"

"Everyone Harmony!" Angel exclaimed, putting as much stress on everyone as he possibly could. "David and his friends, the visiting scoobies, Angel investigations, and you too!"

Huh. Angel never invited Harmony to these things unless they were incredibly serious. Life threateningly serious. She tossed the now empty juice box at the garbage can and started scrambling around through the contacts of her phone to send out a massive text.

"ANGEL IS CALLING EVERYBODY JN FOR AN IMPORTANT MEETING. I THINK THIS IS A CODE BLACK PEOPLE."

Code black was a code that had previously been set aside for usage only during apocalypses, flu pandemics and whenever a slayer was on the rag and needed cuddles, support and separation from anyone who pissed her off. It was rarely used for the later, but still could apply. A flurry of texts arrived shortly, at least one from everyone she had summoned, and Harmony started making her over to the lobby of the Hyperion. It was a bit of a step down from Wolfram and Hart's luxurious office, but at least Harmony was still employed. That was all that mattered. She sat down on an ugly but comfortable little green armchair and waited for the others to arrive.

Slowly but surely, everyone flittered inside. The lost boys were first, and occupied one sofa, goofing around and kicking each other, like children, followed by Fred, Wesley, Gunn and Lorne, who took the other couch. The first three were already on their way back to the hotel anyway, so they didn't mind the disturbance, but Lorne had been busting working on plans for his new club. It was going to take him weeks to get an appointment with the contractor again...

Buffy and Faith came in with Connor and Dawn a few minutes after they did. They had taken the day to go shopping, and Connor had acted as their guide. Upon entering the lobby, Connor grabbed a sword from his secret hiding place beneath one of the couches, just to be safe.

Spike was at a poetry slam that night, and would be returning shortly thereafter. The buses only ran so fast in LA.

Finally, Angel emerged from upstairs, his hands tucked behind his back so no one could see what he was holding. He stood a fair distance away, at the foot of the stairs, looking at all of his friends and family gathered there. He loved them, and was deeply hurt that one of them would keep something like this from him, from each other.

"Angel what's going on?" Wesley asked, being the only one brace enough to speak first. "Is this about Shanshu or...?"

"No Wes." Angel said, and shook his head. "We're here because someone is hiding something from the rest of us. Maybe two people, maybe three, but at least one person here is. And I just want to know why. Why someone would be so ashamed, so scared of our reactions that they would hide something like this from us. Regardless of whatever option they were hoping to seek out. I guess what I want to see is, whoever this person is, we'll support you and love you no matter what you do."

The group all exchanged weird, puzzled looks, trying to piece together what their fearless leader had just said. Someone was hiding something from the others...but what?

No one was coming forward. Drastic action had to be taken. Angel stalked forward, and put the item he had been hiding dead center on the coffee table. A few of his friends gasped, while most just looked among each other, and tried to find out whose it was. On the coffee table in the Hyperion lobby, placed there by Angel after he discovered it in the garbage of a vacant room while taking out the trash, as a positive pregnancy test.

"Oh wow..." Fred was the first to speak. "So whose is it guys?"

No one answered.

"Come on," Angel said with a groan. "It's no big deal. We just want to support whoever is dealing with this...issue. Come on now, be brave. It's not like you're fighting a demon here."

Again, no one answered.

"Ladies-" Gunn started to say, then remembered William the Bloody's situation with David and corrected himself. "-people who can carry babies, come on now. No need to hide this."

Still no answer.

"Connor?" Angel asked. "David? Anything you boys want to say?" They both had unusual births. They both had been sexually active before. One had already had a child (kinda)! There was a strong possibility they were involved.

"I don't know." David answered quite honestly, and turned to look at Marko. "Do we?"

"Hell no..." Marko replied. "Maybe it was Paul? Paul's slutty enough!"

Gunn scowled at this description of his on-again-off-again flame though Paul nodded, finding the description quite suitable for him.

"I am a slut. But I am not pregnant." A look of grave concern flashed over the young vampire's face. "Wait...I may be....but I know I didn't take that test." Frantically, Paul looked around the lobby at the others. "How can you tell if you're pregnant?!"

"You're not Paul." Gunn told him with an eye roll. "Slut or not, you don't have the magic to do it. If it's a guy we're talking about then he has to have magic done to be able to."

"So none of the guys here are knocked up?" Harmony asked, then breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god Dwayne...."

Her boyfriend blushed and his eyes darted to the floor to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Dawn looked between the two, and then asked, "Okay but how would he...?"

Not wanting to see her baby sister get mutiliated by a male vampire (with a right to be pissed off), Buffy slapped a hand over Dawn's mouth and told her to shut up. Harmony didn't understand what the big deal was though.

"Oh I just thought because I do this thing with my pinky every time we-"

Dwayne sprung into action, and crushed his lips against Harmony's to keep her from saying anymore. Dawn groaned, muffled by her sister's hand, and lost interest in the couple quickly. This little exchange between Harmony and Dwayne got Faith thinking. She bolted up from the couch, and pointed an accusing finger at the female vamp. "It could be Harmony!"

As quickly as he had attached himself to Harmony, Dwayne pulled away. He looked his girlfriend over with shocked but curious eyes. "We have been having a lot of unprotected sex...that's a crucial factor in baby making...."

Harmony frowned, "I'm not pregnant. I couldn't even have kids when I was human and you think I can have them now?!"

It had been a touchy subject for her. Harmony may have been a bit...dotty but she understood and adored babies! When she was a kid, she spent hours with Cordelia mulling over future baby names. Then she got to junior high, and the doctors found a tumor on one of her ovaries. At a young age, Harmony knew she could never have biological children.

...If she didn't care so much for these people, Harmony just may steal whoever's baby it wast or herself.

"Okay so this narrows it down at least." Fred pointed out, hoping to take some of the attention off of Harmony before the fangs started flying. "I mean, we're looking at someone who can have children and has been having unprotected sex."

"Yes," Wesley agreed. "Let's take the time and look at this logically."

He stood up, went over to Harmony's desk. He pulled open the top draw, pulled out a pad and a pen, wrote down the names of everyone in the room. "Okay so right off the bat, let's take off the names of those who can't have children. Myself, Gunn, Angel, David, Marko, Paul, Harmony and Dwayne."

"And the names of those who haven't been having unprotected sex." Buffy piped up. "Like Dawn. I really hope like Dawn."

"Like Dawn." The youngest girl in the room confirmed with a nod. "Very much like Dawn."

"Like Dawn," Wesley stated and crossed her name off the list. "And Lorne...though I suppose I could have taken him off earlier."

"Yes," The Host agreed. "Instead of drawing attention to the fact that I haven't been getting any for a while. Thanks for that Wesley..."

"Dawn, Lorne, Conner, Illyria...ish. Can we say Illyria?" Gunn asked, "I mean since she and Fred share the same body. Any comments there guys?"

"Take me and Illyria off the list," Fred insisted. "No unprotected sex. Protected sex. The kind that does not lead to babies."

Wesley nodded to himself, as if to confirm that he and his girlfriend had been taking care of themselves to avoid this type of situation, and crossed Fred's name off the list. "Faith and Buffy are the only names left." He told the others. "...I'm not sure if we're equipped to handle the child of a slayer but I suppose we can give it our all. Just keep the child away from the sharp objects-"

"The only unprotected sex either of us have been having hasn't been-"

Buffy elbowed Faith hard in the gut, making the other slayer laugh and double over. That's right. She'd forgotten. Buffy hadn't exactly explained the details of her latest relationship to Angel or Spike yet and wasn't ready to do such yet.

"-hasn't been unprotected. Slayers are really tricky about that now you know? Don't want any of us to be out fighting evil while a bun's in the oven." That worked too. It was a good enough excuse.

"That's everyone though," Connor pointed out. "One of us has to be lying. Someone here got wild. Broken condom maybe?"

"Or someone got wild with so find they weren't supposed to." David suggested, then turned to his father. "If you were cheating, and this is another half brother on your part, you know that Spike will rip you to shreds."

"Wasn't me!" Angel insisted, "I'm not that kind of guy!" He didn't cheat...unless he was soulless. And then he would nail puppies to doors so really, cheating wasn't as bad as it seemed. At least when comparing the two. That wouldn't work for Spike though. Spike always reacted to being cheated on or used in two ways. Way one was wallowing in pity, brooding, and finally crawling back on his belly to the one using him. Way two was violence. He would hit things, and by things, he meant Angel.

Angel didn't know which way of Spike's process of coping was worse.

Speaking of Spike, his bus ride home finally pulled up outside the Hyperion. That was the thing he missed the most about Wolfram and Hart, all of those beautiful cars. His feet were killing him, and he hadn't even been walking as much as he usually was. He had a grocery bag tucked under his arm, having stopped by a pharmacy a couple blocks away after his event was over, and grabbed some useful stuff. Stuff that would help him along later. The sooner the slayers left, or proved that they weren't looking to make a move on either him or Angel when they were least expecting, the better. Then his grandsire could run around getting all of this crap for him. With Angel doing his bidding, Spike would be free to watch as much Passions as possible, and relax more. It was much better for the baby that way.

He'd been expecting to see a couple members of the crew loitering around the lobby, but not the whole lot of them. They were all gathered around on the couches, except for Wesley who had seemingly taken command of Harmony's little secretary desk. They were all talking loud out each, about someone doing this or not doing that. It was like watching a gaggle of middle schoolers try and figure out who started the rumors about them. He chuckled, alerting the others' to his presence, and set his bags down at the door for now. He'd get them later when he figured out what the deal was here.

"Another round of sherades?" He teased, "I told ya before, that Dwayne can not be beaten. Bloody well spent four hours last week trying to but it doesn't work."

Angel rolled his eyes, and opted to remove himself from their mission to locate the impending mother for a moment, despite starting it, and went to greet the younger vamp. He leaned over and kissed Spike's forehead. "How'd your poetry go."

"Quite well. Got a standing ovation, but the best part was when this bloke Eric threw his beer at the waiter and this demon tossed him right into the bar!" The guy had it coming, having been an ass the entire time Spike had been attending the establishment, and it had been a real treat to see him finally get what was coming to him. "Should come along some time. You know, whenever there's no baddie to fight or...whatever you're doing here today."

The whole crew had managed to calm down a bit, lower their volumes, but they were still arguing among themselves about something. They seemed to have lost interest in Spike and turned their attention back to what had held it before. He raised an eyebrow, watching them scramble along. "What's up with them?" He asked Angel. "New case?"

"No. I found something when I was taking the garbage out. Now we're trying to find out whose it is." He noticed the bag Spike was holding. "What's that?"

"Just some chocolate, some chips, vitamins and stuff." Spike explained, "So what did you find? What could possibly-" he peered over at the table and saw the pregnancy test laying on top of it. "Oh."

"We narrowed it down to someone who can get pregnant, female or a male who had magic used on him before and has been having unprotected sex." Fred piped up. "We still can't figure out who..."

Spike twitched, and covered his hands with his mouth to avoid braking down with laughter. He had to turn his back on the group, or else he was going to completely loose it. These people were detectives and heroes, the last force standing between the pillars of right and wrong, and they couldn't even piece together who was knocked up! "Bloody brilliant!" He was going to have to tell them now of course, but he was going to enjoy this for a second first.

"I don't get what's so funny." Buffy said with a glare. "We spent over an hour on this!"

Spike managed to get his laughter down to a giggle but couldn't face the others yet. He knew if he did, he would end up rolling around o the floor. "Don't suppose my name is on that list there, huh Percy?"

"Uh..." Wesley looked down at the list and realized that with Spike not being there, he had forgotten to place the vampire on the list. "Oh...no it's not."

"That's what I thought. So let's see, who here has been having unprotected sex, is capable of having children, hasn't been smoking or drinking or doing anything that could cause harm to a baby and wasn't here back when you all started pointing fingers?" He didn't know if he should keep on laughing about how incompetent his friends could be when it came to simpler things like this, or deeply ashamed and concerned.

...

He was going to keep on laughing. It was funnier this way!

The color drained from Angel's face, and given that he had little color there to begin with, he ended up looking as white as the new fallen snow. He felt his legs threatening to buckle out from underneath him, and the vampire with a soul ended up grabbing onto the stair railing in order to keep himself standing. "...What...?"

David ended up smacking himself in the forehead for not thinking of this sooner. "The whole spell the witches put on you...never did get that reversed did ya?"

"Didn't think I needed to. Thought the whole being-being-able-to-concieve was a one time thing." Spike shrugged. "I've been wrong before."

"How...how long have you-?" Conner tried to ask, unsure of how to cope with another sibling. He and David barely got along, and this little one was going to be just a baby. What was he going to do with a baby?!

"Couple weeks." Spike said, and locked eyes with his grandsire. They both knew very well when it happened. It had been hours after the fall of LA, the fight was over and they were running around, looking for each other. Spike had been planning on leaving LA. He'd done his part, now he had to leave before things got bad again. Angel had been the one to find him, making a run for then next state over, and he pulled him into the crumbling remains of a nearby office building. He told Spike about everything, about everyone, about how they'd made it, how they had finally set things right. He told Spike they were really champions, all of them, from their friends to their son and his lost boys. All of them had been spared by the powers that be. Things had finally evened out! The bad times were over at long last! Spike pulled Angel to him, and they mad love in the ruins of what had once been a soulless corporate headquarters like that of the one that slaved at for nearly a year. Spike and Angel had only made love one time before, been intimate as he had described it to Illyria, which had been where they conceived David. Any time after that was just fucking, there weren't any deeper emotions involved. They had used each other to let off steam, for fun. And if a large chunk of plaster hanging overhead hadn't come down and hit Angel over the head a couple of minutes before he climaxed, Angelus would have been out running around right now. They had sex lots of times after that, but nothing has been as powerful as it had been that night.

"I was going to tell you, 'n David, 'n Angel at dinner but then the slayers showed up and we all got a wee bit distracted."

Buffy, Faith and Dawn all exchanged strange looks. "Spike that was over a week ago."

"I know but you try braking this kinda news without someone freaking out. Just look at Angel."

Said vampire had slid down, and was now sitting on the bottom stair with his head between his legs as he struggled to keep his head. He was breathing heavily, despite not needing to breath, and trying to let this new information sink in. He was going to have a baby in a couple months...another little vampire baby...with Spike...in LA...in this economy...when the possible threat of Donald Trump being president was still out there...

"See?" Spike asked the group. "Ponce's already panicking. I knew it would happen. Good thing I'm prepared." He held up his bag of pharmacy goodies with pride. Knowing Angel, he could panic the entire duration of his pregnancy, so it was important Spike try and be as self-sufficient as possible. That and have David and Connor run around and do a couple of things for him as well.

Fred stood up, and looked like she was going to say something encouraging before Illyria took over. The god-King scanned Spike over, and snorted in disgust. "The half-breeds are breeding. How disappointing. I am not looking forward to another's presence in this...shack."

Gunn rolled his eyes and pulled Illyria back down into the couch.

"So you're keeping the baby?" Dawn asked, "That's good because it's going to be so cute and soft and little-"

And vulnerable Angel wanted to say, but thought better of it. This was going to be a challenge but it wasn't one he wasn't up for. He was just...scared of what could happen. His last time trying to be a parent wasn't exactly award winning...Though last time he didn't have Spike around.

"'I'm going upstairs if you need me," Spike told the others. "Feet are throbbing. Need'a lay down for a sec. You'll know where to find me if you need me." Not that they would need him. Couldn't demon-fight and risk hurting the baby. Unless they needed some to analyze some old poetry, he wasn't going to be much use. He headed upstairs, and left Angel slumped over on the stairs. He wasn't going to be much use right now either. He needed time to think.

**Author's Note:**

> Vampire Boogeyman (Drabble)  
> Off To Neverland (Drabble)  
> Abomination (not complete)  
> Tell You Later (Drabble)  
> Someday Soon (Not complete, will only be around five chapters or so).
> 
> Thanks for reading! And putting up with my irratic writing schedule!


End file.
